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Updated June 25th, 2002
Hey I'm a 16-year-old male from *********. I have just
recently become Christian and I keep worrying that I'll do something foolish
like say I'll sin once more (have sex once more) then I wont do it again.
Sometimes I feel I have to do it and I'm having a really hard time trying to
control it. I don't want to use Jesus so I can commit sin. I love God and know
It hurts him but I just cant help myself sometimes. It's the same with
masturbation. Tell me what you think I should do?
thank you for your time,
Thanks for writing. It
sounds like you are being tempted to sin and when you commit the sin you are
asking for forgiveness. Of course, you should ask for forgiveness but you don't
want to use this as a license to commit the same sin over and over. This sounds
to be what you are concerned about.
The Bible does speak
that we as Christians do have liberty, but we should not abuse our liberty to
commit sin against God. Galatians 5:1, 13 says, "Stand fast therefore in
the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with
the yoke of bondage...For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use
not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.”
The most difficult
thing for anyone to do is to decide whether to live in the spirit or in the
flesh. Most people try, at least
for a while, to live with one foot in each, but it does not work. Galatians 5:17 says, “For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the
Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that
ye cannot do the things that ye would.”
Any time you have a sin
in your life there are two things you must always do. One, ask the Lord to
forgive you and to deliver you from that sin, and He will. Second, you must turn
from that sin and stop flirting with it. If you continue to watch movies or
television shows that are sexual in nature it is going to lead you right down
that path again. If you continue to be in the presence of situations such as
wild parties, bars or alone with your girlfriend in a compromising state you are
going to leave yourself open to sin.
A new Christian
requires a lot of guidance, especially at the beginning.
He must learn to get rid of portions of his life that cause him to sin.
Perhaps these things are not sins in themselves, but they lead to
temptation and therefore to sin.
If you love the Lord
you are going to have to turn away from the things that cause you to sin against
Him. You may have to stop dating women until you have this problem under
control. Or you may have to limit your time with women to a public place where
you are not tempted to become sexually involved (you should do this anyway).
This is a serious matter and should be taken serious. God does not take sexual
sin lightly and neither should you.
The Bible says that if
"thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better
for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast
into hell fire (Matthew 18:9)." Jesus didn't say that to hear Himself talk.
He meant it as a serious warning to stay out of compromising positions that
would lead you to sin against God. This should not be taken as that a person can
lose their salvation. The problem with many today who have sought God for
deliverance from an addiction is they continue to flirt or dabble with the
addiction once they have been delivered. I'm not saying that this is the rule
but many times it is.
As far as masturbation
is concerned, don't let your mind wander into thinking or watching things that
will cause you to do this. It's important that you make a conscientious effort
not to watch, think or get involved with things that would trigger you to do
this. You may have to give up television, movies and magazines. With sex rampant
on the internet, you may have to get off the internet or find away to block
pornography. And yes, it's that serious. Here is a passage of scripture to live
by that will help you keep on track with your thinking. It's found in
Philippians 4:6-9:"Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and
supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the
peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds
through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever
things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure,
whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be
any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things,
which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the
God of peace shall be with you."
If you truly want to
stay delivered from a sin, you must not dabble in the sin and resist all
immediate urges to fulfill your lust. In fact, the Bible instructs us to flee
youthful lusts and resist the devil (II Timothy 2:22, James 4:7). If you don't
resist him (fight him), he will overpower your mind.
Only you can make that decision to change your life in this way and it
isn’t easy. Do not be too hard on yourself if your first efforts meet with
I hope this has helped