I'm Attracted To The Same Sex But Don't Want To Be; Is It Okay To Pursue A Homosexual Lifestyle; What The Bible Says
Hi. I have been questioning my sexuality. I live in a very religious family. I am a Christian. I believe in God and believe that Jesus is my Savior. I like the same sex and I have internal issues. I don't want to go to hell for eternity. But I'm attracted to other guys. Some even more than women. I am attracted to women too. I know that homosexuality is a sin. I don't want to sin. I don't want to have a physical relationship with a guy. I don't want to go against God. I have prayed about my homosexuality several times. I have! I have cried over and over again because I don't want to go to hell! I want to be with God and Jesus forever! I don't think I have prayed enough about it. I have not "come out of the closet yet" to my family because I am trying to change my lust for other men. I just want to be normal. I didn't want to be attracted to other guys. I just want to know if God will ever forgive me. If I live a bisexual life with a guy or a girl will He ever let me have eternal life? I don't think I chose to be a gay person. I really don't. If I could only like girls this wouldn't be a problem.
My childhood was terrible, and I have endured many rough moments. My family and I started to go to Church when I was about 12. I prayed to God to forgive me for all my sins. I love Him and Jesus. I believe that Jesus Christ is my Savior. I
haven't been to church in a few months, and I don't want to announce my sexuality. I feel bad for being gay.
Do you think my childhood could have changed my sexuality?
If I live a bisexual life until I'm old, will I go to hell? Even if I know that I'm going to live a gay life.
I have a friend. He is married to a wonderful woman who he loves, but recently he met a woman through church at a counseling session. Their relationship started out innocently and strictly professional, but in time, she and my friend realized that they were soul mates and were meant to be together. He hasn't told his wife yet that he has met his soul mate but he plans to do so soon. Is it wrong for my friend to have sexual relations with a woman who's not his wife, but he believes should have been? Did God make a mistake?
Of course, this story is not true, but serves as a point. God made you to be a man. Your sexual desires are immaterial as to who you are according to Christ. The Bible says it is a great sin for a man to have sex with another man (and that goes for a lesbian relationship as well). Your relationship with God trumps all sexual desire's period.
In the story I created, my friend just knew he was supposed to be with this woman. She was after all what he called his soul mate. He felt that he (and God) had made a mistake in marrying his wife. However, the fact still remains she is his wife. So despite his lustful feelings for this other woman he was still married, and it would be an adulteress affair, and a great sin against God if he pursued this relationship (Exodus 20:14; Matthew 5:28).
Furthermore, remember that any sex outside of marriage is sin (I Corinthians 6:18; 10:8). Committing your life to be a Christian is just that...a commitment. If indeed, you are a Christian, you will put these unnatural lusts and desires away and serve the Lord. There are plenty of Christians who live their lives without sex, meaning, they never got married. You are giving sex a much greater place in your life then it should have. You are fooling yourself if you think God will accept your gay lifestyle just because you think you were in some way born this way (Romans 1:21-32).
Being unable to explain your feelings toward the same sex doesn't change anything. It's still lust no matter how you package it. The Bible warns us to flee youthful lust of any kind (II Timothy 2:22). If you have a problem with lusting after men, as every man has a problem lusting after women, stay away from the men who make you lust. And that goes for the places that can bring about this lust. Lust is lust. All men and women have a lust problem to some degree. However, it's your choice to pursue or not to pursue this lustful desire just as it's my choice to leave my wife and pursue an adulteress relationship with a woman I believe is my soul mate.
I can't tell you where your eternal destination will be, but I can tell you what the Bible says about those who indulge in this lifestyle. They will not inherit eternal life and will end up in hell (Galatians 5:19-21; Romans 1:27-32). To me, no sexual lust on earth is worth taking the chance I might end up in that horrible place. Now to your last question...Do I think your childhood could have changed your sexuality? No. Nothing changed your sexuality; you have just acquired an unnatural lust for men. As you stated, you still have a healthy lust for women. But think on this, even though you have a healthy lust for women, according to Scripture, you are still forbidden to pursue that healthy lust until you are married (I Corinthians 6:18). And if you never marry, you are to remain celibate (having never had sexual relations). Many men who claim to be Christians have not followed this command, but have pursued their lusts and are living a lifestyle of fornication (sex with women outside of marriage). The Bible says they will not inherit the kingdom of heaven (Roman 1:29-2:3).
Don't fool yourself, if you truly are a Christian you will pursue living a Christian life. I didn't say you would be sinless, but that you would sin less and seek the Lord. Pursuing a lifestyle of fornication, adultery or lesbian/homosexuality is not consistent with living for Christ, and you're tragically fooling yourself if you think it is (II Peter 2:4-22).
Lastly, will the Lord forgive the sin of entertaining and indulging in lustful acts? Absolutely! The Lord will always hear the prayer from a person with a truly repentant heart. If you ask the Lord to forgive you, He will (I John 2:1-2).
I hope this will lead you to pursue the Lord with all your heart.
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