Questions & Answers To Everyday Life
When Should I Leave: Biblical Reasons For Divorce
Ok lets say two people marry very young and they are both Christians. It doesn't work out and they divorce. What if one day they want to remarry another person? Will God bless their second union, or will he forever see the first union as marriage and remarriage as adultery?
I am not saying they are justified for their actions. DIVORCE IS WRONG. And I know how most denominations today will not worry about divorced people marrying again. Isn't this wrong? What do you think? Is remarriage justified on any grounds at all except adultery?
NOTE: THE DIVORCE WAS NOT THE RESULT OF ANYONE CHEATING, THEY JUST SIMPLY, ON FRIENDLY TERMS, WANTED TO SEPARATE AND NOT BE MARRIED. So can they marry a different person and have God bless their second marriage?------
Divorce was not meant to be a part of the Christian life (Matthew 19:8, 9). Many today are divorcing their spouse for reasons other then infidelity and that is wrong. Plain and simple, God hates divorce! I believe it is the number one cancer in America today.
Here is my take on marriage and divorce. Marriage is meant to last a lifetime. As Christians, God has given us the power to stay married if we choose. But as stated, many Christians are opting out of their marriage vows as if it were a business deal. Jesus said that whatever God has joined together in marriage let no man put asunder (Matthew 19:6), but many Christians have disregarded this warning. In fact, the divorce rate for Christians has caught up with that of non-Christians
There are only a few reasons for divorce. The first reason, adultery or being unfaithful to one’s spouse. The Bible says in Matthew 19:7-9 that there are consequences to divorcing a spouse for reasons other then adultery:
“They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication (adultery), and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”
The second reason for divorce is if one of a married couple gets saved and the unbelieving spouse no longer wants to dwell with the saved spouse (because he/she got saved). The Bible states:
“But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. (I Corinthians 7:15)”
Because of this person’s conversion the spouse did not want to remain in the marriage. God says you are free to let them go and you may remarry.
Here are a few questions that come up frequently regarding divorce:
1. What if a person was an unbeliever when he got divorced and it was for an
unbiblical reason and later became a Christian? What should he do?
If reconciliation is an option, seek it.
If the ex-spouse is not a Christian, he should not
remarry the spouse because a believer is not to marry an unbeliever (2 Cor.
If either spouse has gotten married, remarriage is
not an option either (Deut. 24:3-4; Mark 10:11-12).
If the ex spouse will have nothing to do with any
reconciliation or you are not able to contact this person, you are free to
If the spouse has died, you are free to remarry.
2. What if a person was a believer when he got divorced, but the reason was
not adultery or abandonment, and wants to remarry someone different now what
should he do?
If you initiated the divorce, then you should not
remarry (Matt. 5:31), However....
Reconciliation with the
initial spouse should be sought with confession of sin and the request for
If it was the spouse that left without a biblical
reason, then you are free to remarry.
Reconciliation should be sought with a confession
3. What if a couple was divorced, married others, got divorced, and wants to
become remarried to again?
The Bible says that you cannot return to your
first spouse after you remarried (De 24:3,4; Jer 3:1).
If you have, nevertheless, already gotten married,
continue in your marriage and seek the Lord's forgiveness. He will give it.
4. What if a person was a believer when he got divorced, but the reason was
not adultery or abandonment, and has already gotten married. Is he in sin?
Depending on the circumstances, he may be. But he
should confess his sin to the Lord and spouse and seek forgiveness from the
original spouse and then he should stay married and be the best husband (or
wife) he/she can be.
(Questions found at http://www.carm.org/questions/divorce.htm)
One topic that was not covered in the questions
that comes up frequently is physical and mental abuse.
Are they grounds for divorce? For
this reason it very important that you follow the command of the Lord to not be
unequally yoked (II Corinthians 6:14) and also to be fruit inspectors of
potential mates. Just because
someone says they’re a Christian doesn’t make them one (Matthew 7:21). Be very careful of where you meet people, it will be a good
indicator of the quality of the catch. This
is a personal opinion of mine, but I believe that anytime you feel your life or
the life of your children are in danger you need to get out of the
situation…even if he says he’s a Christian.
As far as mental abuse is concerned, in my
opinion, it is not grounds for divorce. Too
many couples are using mental abuse (arguing, belittling, and name calling) as a
way out of a marriage. This maybe a
bad situation but not grounds for divorce.
My advice is for that couple to seek Godly counseling and ask God to
restore the love that once was. I
realize it takes two, but many times it boils down to one thing…selfishness!
At one time or another you both loved each other and that is still within
you. That’s where the Lord comes
in. Ask Him to bring it back and be
In closing, take serious your committed you made before God, and if you’re not already married, follow the commands God has set before you that you will not be caught in a relationship that is headed for failure.
I hope this has helped you with your questions and concerns about divorce.
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