Forgiving Someone That You Perceive As Unforgivable

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January 28, 2002

Question

Two years ago, I found out that my husband had an affair. I was so distraught, I let satan deceive me, through my husband into having sex with my husband and this other woman. My husband thought that it would help me to understand that she meant nothing to him. I have asked God repeatedly to forgive me. he has since healed my marriage and my husband who was once a nonbeliever, now accepts Christ as his saviour.

I want to know if my marriage can be cleansed by the Holy Spirit from this act of sexual depravity. This is the only type of sexual activity I have done outside of my marriage. I do not believe in adultery, however I do know that satan deceived me into thinking this was acceptable. Also, I feel hatred in my heart for this woman. Can I be healed? Please respond soon.

Answer

The problem isn't whether God has forgiven you (I John 2:1)...you accept that by faith as you accepted Him as Lord by faith. He has forgiven you. You need to ask the Lord to cleanse this act from your mind. Unfortunately, satan uses our past sin's to condemn us and to keep us from feeling we can come before God. He also makes us feel as if God is constantly reminding us of this sin to beat us down, when in fact, satan is the author of confusion. God has forgiven you. You need to claim that by faith and not feeling.

Secondly, the woman that was involved with your husband will be hard to forgive in the flesh. Not to many people would be able to do it. But we are commanded to forgive others. With this commandment I believe God gives us the power to forgive...even those who commit adultery against us. But you must seek the Lord and ask the Lord to help you forgive her. Get into the Word and look for direction. Follow His leading and He will give you the answer. Listen as you pray and listen as you meditate on His Word. If you seek the Lord you will find Him and therein lays the answer.

I've always said if you want something bad enough you will work for it. Meaning if you want this anger with the other woman to go away, you'll need to take time to seek the Lord in how to overcome this problem (Proverbs 3:5-7). The first thing is to cry out to the Lord and say, "Lord, I need your help in this situation and if you don't solve this problem I will never be free from my bitterness over her...please show me how to overcome this". Then listen to what the Lord will put into your mind (Psalm 46:10).

I hope this has helped you. If you have any more questions please ask.

Pastor Malone

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