Very few Christian’s today consult the Word of God regarding marriage.  How do I know this?  I only need look at the divorce rate of Christian’s to figure that out.  Of course, some divorces are unavoidable especially when adultery is involved.  Personally, I believe this (adultery) is the only circumstance in which the Bible permits divorce, but as you know, there are far more who split just because they can’t get along.  This is a tragic yet effective tool satan has used to destroy the family that too many Christian’s are all to quick to jump at.  If you are looking, about to get married or presently married, here are some critical Biblical principles for keeping your marriage from ending up a failure. 

Principle Number One:  You Don’t Have To Get Married!
I realize that many of you reading this are saying, “That’s not an option!”  I have to warn you that that’s your first mistake.  I know a lot of married couples that wish they would have heeded to this principle. 

If at this time you’re not married, but wish to be and that’s okay, there is a correct response to this situation.  First, you must come to the realization that no man or woman can complete you and that only the Lord can do that.  If you believe this it will save you a lot of misery. 

If you have confessed the above to the Lord you’re now in a position for the Lord to bless you with the right mate for your life…if it is His will.  When I say ‘if it is His will’ you must be willing to accept whatever the Lord has planned for your life.  Marriage may not be in His plan for you.   

Stay sexually pure and demand it from those you may consider.  The quickest way to get the curse of God on your future marriage is to become sexually active outside of God’s bounds.  Certainly you can be forgiven, and by all means, if you have already been sexually active outside of marriage seek immediate forgiveness, but there is still God’s eternal law of sowing and reaping.  Just like the pull of gravity, whatever goes up must come down; sin also is under immutable laws.  Whatever you sow you’re going to reap at some point in your life (Galatians 6:7).  It might not be today, tomorrow or even ten years from now, but some day your harvest will come in.  We only need look at the life of David to see how terrible the price can be.  I heard a wise man once say “Sin will take you further than you want to go, keep you longer that you want to stay and cost you more than you want to pay.  You’re not going to outrun your sins.  They’ll always comeback to haunt you.  It’s critical that you just say no until you're married. 

My father always told me if you look in the sewer you’re always going to come out with garbage.  Meaning…when trying to find a mate search in places that will yield the results that will last a lifetime.  That place is usually centered around a Godly church, but be sure the Christian’s you consider are at your same spiritual level.  Not everyone that says they're a Christian is.  Know the Bible and be a fruit inspector.  Your knowledge of the Word will expose a phony every time without exception. It will also save you from making a terrible mistake. 

Don’t settle or compromise your values.  Too many have settled just because they were staring thirty in the face.  Don’t let age dictate your life and scare you into making a terrible choice.  This is a very important life changing decision.  

Set down and make a list of all the must have qualities that that man or woman must possess before you will consider a relationship with them.  Remember, these are qualities in a person you can’t live without so put some real thought into it.  For example, I would say that he/she cannot squeeze the toothpaste in the middle of the tube should not be on this list.  Of course, if you really can’t live with this put it on the list.  

If the person you are considering a relationship with does not meet all your must have qualities move on to the next person.  I mean, if your list contains twenty qualities and they possess nineteen of them…walk away!  Any other response would be settling for second best.  And do it early in the relationship (probably within the first few dates).  This way you save everyone involved a lot of pain including yourself.  You also avoid becoming attached to a person you know is not right for you.  Many a divorce started with a person they knew was not right for them but they allowed themselves to get attached overtime.  Don’t let this happen to you. 

Usually, where there is a divorce there are children.  Anytime you enter a relationship where children are involved know that it will be a difficult and challenging transition.  One things for sure, you will always be second place to their children, but that can also turn into an exciting ministry for you as well.  Make sure you seek the Lord before you get to far into a relationship where children are involved.  One other thing, children usually bring with them ex-husbands or ex-wives that will be in your life for the duration so choose wisely. 

As Christian’s, we could probably name a number of factors that have led to today’s destruction of marriage and family, but if I were to put my finger on one thing it would be selfishness.  The Bible warned against the “me first” attitude in marriage with a command for both the husband and the wife:  Take a look at this passage of scripture found in the book of Ephesians.